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jnwfish
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Name: Jessica
Birthday: 7/11/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: At the moment, my interests are forced to include Anatomy and Physiology, pharmacology, drug action, other random pharmacy-related forms of torture. I keep busy at FSU with RL and NCPA and Honors and stuff, and if you're in the area and want to hang out then call or something. I also have a growing love for poetry, (anything that's quotable,) knowing Jesus more every day, music that says what words just can't get a hold of, and whatever randomly comes to mind. I love pictures, music, posters, scrapbooking, praise and worship, pasta ;) and hanging out with the people in my life who make me laugh.
Expertise: Rambling and remembering where Bible verses are. I also know the lyrics to just about every Chris Tomlin and Switchofoot song. I am also adept at wasting time on facebook, (facebook me!) MSN, zanga, email, and other random internet things. From time to time I can also spend countless hours on the phone. Lord-willing I will be enough of an expert in drug therapy and ten-syllable drug names like hydrocodone bitartrate/acetaminophen that in a few years I will be a RPh.
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  jnwfish
MSN: wolf33@fsuimail.ferris.edu
Member Since:
9/5/2005
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That I
Would Be Good
ALANIS MORISSETTE LYRICS
that I would be good even if I did nothing
that I would be good even if I got the thumbs down
that I would be good if I got and stayed sick
that I would be good even if I gained ten pounds
that I would be fine even if I went bankrupt
that I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth
that I would be great if I was no longer queen
that I would be grand if I was not all knowing
that I would be loved even when I numb myself
that I would be good even when I am overwhelmed
that I would be loved even when I was fuming
that I would be good even if I was clingy
that I would be good even if I lost sanity
that I would be good
whether with or without you
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| What a week... suddenly being single again, still passing classes by the smallest percentage, slipping into apathy... and severely sleep deprived to the point of a headache and dizziness. Yeah, it's been fun. Not.
So, after an extremely long day at class and probably the worst pcol
exam EVER I decided to go to the gym and talk some things through with
God. You know, the gym is my best friend and worst enemy. It all
depends on whether I am there because I want to or because I feel awful
if I don't. But that's a different story. Today I was there because I
was on autopilot and the gym is a safe place to think.
It happened when I turned the music off...
I'd been listening to a mix I made before I left for the IT project,
when life was kind of crashing around me. Today seemed a good day for
it again. But my CD player wouldn't work right, it kept skipping and
stopping and stuff. (Word of warning, don't ever get an off-brand CD
player even if it's on sale for $20. It's not worth it.) So I only
heard the first half of Acres of Hope. But it worked. My heart kept on
singing and... this is where it gets amazing... I talked to God for a
bit and suddenly all the hope that I'd been lacking for the last
30-some hours came rushing back!
God really does bring us through valleys and acres of hope. Both.
Not that life is great. It's still... yeah... and it'll be a while
before I can get through a day and not have to force a smile at some
point. Or look in the mirror again. Hheh, it'll be a while before I can
bring the mirror out of hiding. That goes for the scale too. Or watch a
chick flick without cynicism pouring from every ounce of my body. Or
eat without feeling nauseated and guilty. Or go back to Real Life.
Or... a lot of things. But that's okay. God heals all things and He's
already started to work on me.
I'm giving the lesson tonight at Awana. I typed it out because I'm a
planner and a nervous person and I need to know what's going to happen
and I need to know exactly what I'm going to say... here it is. (For
those of you who know the background, it'll be amazingly ironic.)
I pray that this hope doesn't dissipate after the sun goes down... nights are always harder than days. But I'm hopeful again.
Anyway, here's the Awana lesson:
Do you ever ask God for something and then wait for a long time before
He gives it to you? Have you ever prayed for something and God didn’t
give it to you?
I want to tell you the story of a little girl tonight. Her name is
Gladys. She lived in Ireland with her mother and father. She went to
church and learned about Jesus and asked him into her heart when she
was a very little girl. She prayed to God every night for the people
she loved.
She also prayed that God would make her beautiful. She wanted to be
tall with blonde hair and blue eyes like her friends and the other
little girls she knew. She prayed very hard about it every night. Every
morning she would wake up and jump out of bed and run to her mirror and
see if God had answered her prayer. But each morning she saw the same
thing as before. She was short with dark hair and dark eyes. But she
didn’t become angry with God even though it seemed like He wasn't
listening to her.
When she was older God told her that He wanted her to go to China to
tell people about Jesus. When she arrived in China for the first time
she learned why God had not made her tall with blonde hair and blue
eyes. She looked at the people that God had called her to serve and saw
that she looked like them. They were short with dark hair and dark eyes!
Gladys lived in China as a missionary and helped many people, including
many children. She saved over 100 children from the Japanese bombs by
taking them through the dangerous mountains and across the Yellow River
to a place where they could be safe. But if she had not trusted God she
would not have obeyed Him when He told her to go to China. Sometimes
what God does makes us wonder if He cares about us. But He does care,
and He hears us when we pray to Him. We just need to trust Him until He
shows us why He is saying no.
Trust God when He doesn’t make sense
Trust God when He doesn’t give you what you want
Trust God because He has a plan and a reason for what He does
Trust God because He loves you and made you just as you are because He wants you to be that way! | | |
| I'm sick and tired of being depressed.
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Love Is ...
This forward is definitely worth reading. Yes, they're cliche
yes, they're sappy, but they're sweet and they're true.
And they make love real in a way Hollywood never will.
A group of professional people posed this question to a group
of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they
got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.
***********************************
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and
paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her
all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's
love."
Rebecca - age
8
***********************************
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is
different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4
***********************************
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving
cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5
************************************
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your
french fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6
************************************
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4
************************************
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes
a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7
************************************
"Love is when you kiss
all the time. Then when you get tired
of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they
kiss."
Emily - age 8
************************************
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop
opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7
************************************
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a
friend who you hate."
Nikka - age 6
************************************
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears
it everyday."
Noelle - age 7
************************************
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are
still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6
************************************
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and
scared. I
looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving
and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared
anymore."
Cindy - age 8
************************************
"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone
else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6
************************************
"Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine - age 6
************************************
"Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says
he is handsome."
Chris - age 7
************************************
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left
him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4
************************************
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her
old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren -
age 4
************************************
"I let my big sister pick on me because my Mom says she only
picks on me because she loves me. So I pick on my baby sister
because I love her."
Bethany - age 4
************************************
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and
little stars come out of you."
Karen - age 7
************************************
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But
if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8
************************************
And finally . . . An elderly gentleman had recently lost his
wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy next door went
into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just
sat there. When his mother asked him what he had said to the
neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped
him
cry."
Maybe we can all learn from little children
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Chemo was terrible. The exam was the worst thing ever. I just hope I passed. Seriously. I hope I got a 65%, which is what a D- is in that class.
And the thing is, I could have studied more for it and done soooo much better... if I'd just memorized everything. But would it be worth what I'd have to give up to, you know, spend 20 extra hours memorizing all those cephalosporins. Seriously, I thought that the top 200 last year was bad, but there is NO REASON OR METHOD TO HOW THEY"RE NAMED!!! And they all start with "cef"... except for lorocarbef in the second generation list that's just randomly there to mess it all up.
Icky. 2 hours of sleep. Oh fun.
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